Just Google it...

Have a listen to the tune that inspired this train of thought http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_LKtza6MY6U

"I wanna be like a kid again, Runnin' through the field, Without a care in the whole world..."

We had fields when I was a kid. I do not have many recollections of running through them without a care in the world.

I was raised about 5 miles from the next neighbor, on 20 acres of hilly mountain farmland. We raised everything from pigs, chickens, rabbits, horses, geese, you name it. A veritable slice of wannabe farmer heaven.

I remember waking up from the age of 5 forward, with a pantheon of chores to take care of before and after school. Horses to feed, eggs to find, gates to check. The fields were the worst though. They had miles of fencing. And rocks that hurt horses hooves. Areas to clear. The whine of "Mom, I have nothing to do" was met with a chore list. I quickly learned to make friends with books and my imagination when my brother was keeping up on his daily rations of tormenting his little brother.

"We're growing up, my friends, we're growing up, Lessons learned will all be tough..."

I was raised in the 70's and 80's. One of my earliest reoccuring memories was asking my parents how to spell words. I was met every time with the response "Go get the Dictionary". For those of you in the Google age, go Google the word Dictionary. It's a thing we used to use. Has pages and stuff. If I knew the first letter, and how it sounded, I was shown little mercy. I was taught to teach myself. So I thought.

I used to complain to my friends that my parents were attempting to make me a pre-teen workoholic/chimney sweep that bought Dictionaries and Encyclopedias (Another book thing we used before Wikipedia) so they could relax and not have to put the effort into the parental obligation to teach me. So I thought.

"The rules they're making, are not for me, Workin' 9 to 5 just to be bothered by the man..."

I taked to my mom the other day.

We have never been a close family. Not the huggy, I love you types. My dad was in road construction, my mom, adult education. My brother got his Phd has tenure at CSU as a High Energy physics professor. I am for a lack of words, a numbers guy. I like to think out of the 2 kids, I got the same IQ, but retained some sort of social graces. Hence, I have never been comfortable talking about anything remotely personal with any of them.

We were discussing the current lack of report cards for my daughter, although last year she was a straight A student, and seems to be moving along that same path this year. We have to assume. I was blown away that in Grade 4 she was required to have a scientific calculator, headset for computer, access to Google at home, and if possible access to the MS Office Suite, for Word. 

When I pointed these new facts out, and told my mom I was pretty jealous of the awesome tools my daughter gets for school, as well as the advantages in learning and access to information, topped off with and the fact she does not have to pound fence posts, feed horses and chase pigs before and after school she actually laughed at me.

Then she said this: "If something horrid or catastrophic happens in the world in the near future, the generation after you is screwed."

"We're growing up, my friends, we're growing up, Lessons learned will all be tough..."

And she was so right. We went on to a very long discussion. Say there was a world changing event and we went dark.  No ability to rely on electronics. I can reap data from books. I know the use of as well as the spelling of a Thesaurus, I actually own hard covered encyclopedias. I can raise animals, care for them, milk them and butcher them if I must. I can cook. I can grow most crops that are indigenous to my area. I can educate people, using what I learned. I can build a shelter (thanks Dad for making me do construction with you when you took that up) as well as furniture (thanks again Dad).

I look at my daughter and the current 1-18 year olds, and my mom is right. For the most part, they are screwed. It is not their fault. It is about educational and human evolution. They use what they are given, and we have too soon forgot the basics. The foundations. It is about knowing the answer, not knowing how to do the work and research to GET the answer. Remember, we used to get the question right, only when we showed our work in the margin.

It is like we have pushed thousands of years of becoming smarter, becoming a highly educated civilization aside, to get the information as fast as possible. Forgotten is who came up with the information in that Wikipedia article you are using as a data reference for your theseus. ..What it is to be simply a learning, curious human being. Do not get me wrong, I love technology and embrace what it has to offer. I show it in 140 characters or less a hundred or more times a day. I love this smaller planet. But I want my daughter and her generation to also be able to survive in this smaller info thirsty planet. And I want her to share my passion to dig out the information, to GET the answer.

This blog was going to be aimed at education, the teachers action in BC as well as other musings about our "smarter" technological world. Instead, it made me appreciate my parents, my daughter and a part of me that I never knew existed. The survivor. The researcher and analyst.

PS: I bought my daughter her very own hard cover, but girly Dictionary/Thesaurus set today. It will be my favorite Christmas gift for her this year. Inscribed in the front cover of each:

"For Parker, Christmas 2011 - remember how much your Grandma and Grandpa truly love you. Dad."


Music courtesy of The Salads
The Big Picture - 2009
http://www.thesalads.com/

Adversity - It made me what I am today

Note: click on the link, and listen as you read - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qPvjvQtWzMs

"Here, sleep, at the bottom of hell...Your time has come to pick the road you'll walk in this tale"

I died twice in one night, September 17th, 2006.

My future ex-wife was told to take my daughter home, and prepare her to understand that at 4 years old - her dad was gone. But, I am stubborn. I have been since I was a child. Stubborn, opinionated. No quit in me. I would work 7 days a week and further my career to give my kid what I never got - and nothing could stop me.

I guess I misjudged the "nothing could stop me" part a tiny bit.

I was diagnosed a diabetic. I carried too much weight, ate REALLY wrong and stressed too much. I thought doctors just wanted my 15 minute slot to fill their quota. I went to bed with the "flu" August 31st, 2006, hospitalized September 17th, and released from hospital November 24th, 2006. I got out of bed/on my feet 6 months after that. On crutches. I never stood on my right foot again.

"Victims pay the price eventually...The cost, let's see... your life"

I lost my right leg, below my knee in March, 2008. I turned it all around the day I left the hospital. Losing my leg was MY choice. It gave me freedom of movement, to wear what shoes I wanted. To live my life without being impeded. An easy choice. I am stubborn, right? I looked at my illness, my "disability" as a sign that I needed to change my path in life. I began talking about the dangers of the lifestyle path I had taken, learning, informing, promoting. I ran concerts, I ran celebrity auctions, I did radio interviews and did my best to educate people using the medium I loved the most, music.

I had started becoming the man I was meant to be.

My now ex-wife did not share my vision that working myself into the grave for personal net gain was a part of my life I needed to get rid of.  But I did -  and she was part of that removal process. I lost my wife, my house, and most of my "stuff".

But, I became more of the man I wanted to be, and more importantly, a better Dad. My daughter is now turning 11, and my greatest success.

"Your answer is in there, just stare down the barrel...Your sincerest apologies, won't write you out of this one"

I look back at my life thus far as a mix of happiness, reflection and a clear recognition of what is, and is not important. Regret, anger, depression, they have one thing in common. They do not take away what has been. They are a constant reminder to have a strong moral fibre, a direction, and above all, to remember that narcissism generally leads you down a path to nothing special. I have half of my life left. I refuse to waste it, or to compromise my new direction. I will make mistakes, fall, face adversity and at times ridicule. 

I am going to do it my way, without regret.  

In regards to my initial paragraph above, no, there were no bright lights, soft music playing, friendly warm faces waiting for me. Take my advice - live your life in THIS lifetime. Do not wait for what you hope is waiting on the "other" side. There is never a wrong time to decide on a path that is not only good for yourself, but for those around you, and that COULD be affected by you.

"Don't cry, boy...When your sick to the stomach, just pull out the knife."

Mother Superior - Coheed and Cambria - 2007